Life has been pretty stressful... But that's only because awesome things are about to come! And I don't just mean for me, but I have news to share; I'm just waiting to share it, and let me tell you guys, it's kinda driving me crazy! Haha
Only a few people are in on what's been going on, but all will be revealed hopefully sometimes in May! If anyone on Facebook remembers me asking for engagement/wedding photos, well, it has a lot to do with that, but I don't want to give anything away ;) let's just say if you sent in pics, you will be blown away!
My depression seems to be dormant at the moment, but my anxiety, not so much. It's still pretty bad. I have a lot on the go which is probably why I'm so anxious and stressed, but I've got some great friends to keep my mind feeling peaceful.
I'm excited to finally get my hair touched up this weekend.... Blonde with major rootage is NOT cute! Nope nope nope!!!
My dude and I had a good Easter! His dad/dad's wife came over. I'd met his dad before, but it was my first time meeting his wife. It was a very pleasant visit! My daughter did throw some crazy tantrums though.
Speaking of tantrums, this kid is insane! She put TWO dvds in our ps3...almost thought she wrecked the thing! Thankfully my dude was able to fix it, but she's definitely at this very frustrating stage where it's like she's doing everything she can to make our lives difficul. She says no to everything, and she does the complete opposite of what you ask her to do or not do. GRRRRRR!!!
On another note, she's getting a hair cut on Saturday, and I'm actually pretty sad about it. I might blog about that afterwards, but for now, this girl needs some sleep! Until next time...
Toots McGee!
Friday, April 25, 2014
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Life has been good...
For a while, things were a little bit rough. I caught a flu a month ago, then one month to the date later, I caught the flu AGAIN! During that time, I was going through all that unnecessary drama (from my last post) which wasn't really helping. Then about a week after I'd been flu-free, my glands got super swollen! It was pretty random, and also quite painful, but it seems to have settle down.
I feel like I haven't been on here in a long time! But the truth is, I'm doing really well... I'm hoping things stay that way, but I'm just taking it day by day... But some good things are happening in my life, and all will be revealed in the next month or so which will make for a great story. Right now, only a few select people have been made aware, and they're only in on part of it. Only a couple of people are totally in on it because they're a part of the surprise, and let me tell you, it's big! I'm bad with certain secrets, so this should be interesting. ;)
Otherwise, I don't have much else to report on, so until next time...
Toots McGee!
I feel like I haven't been on here in a long time! But the truth is, I'm doing really well... I'm hoping things stay that way, but I'm just taking it day by day... But some good things are happening in my life, and all will be revealed in the next month or so which will make for a great story. Right now, only a few select people have been made aware, and they're only in on part of it. Only a couple of people are totally in on it because they're a part of the surprise, and let me tell you, it's big! I'm bad with certain secrets, so this should be interesting. ;)
Otherwise, I don't have much else to report on, so until next time...
Toots McGee!
Saturday, April 5, 2014
An open letter to you know who...
DISCLAIMER: THIS IS NOT A BLOG POST! IT'S VERY LONG, AND EXTREMELY PERSONAL TO A SPECIFIC INDIVIDUAL. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
There is so much I would like to say, but considering it's 5am and it appears I'm catching a cold or something, I'll just try to get to the point. This is an open letter to the girl who has a lot to say ABOUT me, but gives me no way to defend myself.
Every story between two people has 3 sides. There's the story they tell, the story you tell, and then there's the truth. In this case, I've been pretty straight forward. You see, the disagreement I had that turned sour with a friend has escalated to an unnecessary point, and it's time that it came to an end. But first, there are some things that need to be cleared up, and they will all be directed at the person this letter is to, but there will be no name:
I am a good person. So much so that I actually put other people first. So much so that even though I was going through my own troubles, I would hear yours before considering my own. So much so that I had invited you and your son into my home only 2 nights before a surgery even though I had never met you in person and only knew you through Facebook. So much so that I encouraged you to stay so that you could provide a better life for you and your son when you felt like giving up. So much so that while I was recovering from my surgery, I had my fiancé take you to whatever appointments you needed to get to, even though he was needed at home to take care of me. So much so that I gave you a shoulder to cry on. So much so that I reminded you to eat and take care of yourself while you stayed with me and to try and rest. So much so that I made you food when you were too stressed to remember to eat. I made phone calls for you and looked into things for you so you could find a home here in the city. When you were conflicted about your ex, I supported you. I didn't judge you or think you were being silly or naive. I just wanted you to be happy! That's just some of the things. Let's not forget the time I asked my fiancé to, with my money (not his), drive to the store to grab a thermometer for your son who was sick, plus some snacks for the both of you. I also gave him gas money so he could drive it to your place on the other side of the city which he didn't want to do, but he did it because I begged him to in order to provide you with peace of mind while your son was sick, and I asked for NOTHING in return because I was more concerned about him and also concerned about you than I was about money. You didn't have to tell me you had no way to pay me back... I did it because you were stressed and I couldn't stand to see you like that. I also had him bring your son many of our daughter's toys that were no longer age appropriate for her, most of which weren't cheap toys. At Christmas, I'm just gonna tell you what I spent because why the heck not, I'm making a point here... and again, this was with MY money.. I spent 75 bucks on you alone, and probably about 40 on your son. That's a lot of money considering one of the last things you said to me.
I'll address some things that are out of context from what you wrote in your blog:
That I say my daughter is prettier than my friends' kids. You may have forgotten where that conversation came from. It came from you sending me a picture of a baby you thought was funny looking and me trying to make you feel better by telling you it's okay and normal, especially when you're a parent. In my opinion, my daughter is the most beautiful little girl in the world. In your opinion, I'm sure you think your son is the most handsome and adorable little boy in the world. It happens. We're human.
That I don't make friends with ugly people because it's embarrassing: you know what? I said that! I sure did! I also admit that it's horrible and snobbish of me, and I happen to know there are a LOT of people like that in the world. Does it make it right? No... Did you turn down a guy because he was too short? You sure did. Did you turn down a guy for being of a certain ethnicity? Yep. Did I judge you at the time? I didn't. Know why? We're only human!
-The one that confused me the most was this one -
That I use my boyfriend's (aka the father of my child) income to go shopping: That's something most stay at home moms/housewives do.... I'm not too sure I know a single woman who doesn't ask for money from their partners/spouses. He's even stated that he has no issues with it and that his money is my money. What I don't understand is why you would consider that dirt when you're on social assistance and getting your hair done and your nose pierced and and going shopping and getting cable with the money that was given to you for necessities. And let's just say for the sake of argument somebody gave you that money... Are you not reaping the benefits of someone else's money? Didn't somebody say.... Take you shopping for home decor when you first moved into your new place? How would that be any different?
-And then there was this one-
I can go shopping, but I can't take my daughter to the park: actually, you wanna know a secret? It's actually extremely difficult to go shopping. Even when I'm going because I actually need something, it's difficult. What makes it easier is knowing where the washrooms are so that when my anxiety gets to me, I can quickly escape to regroup. At the park, there are a lot of germs which isn't ideal for someone with anxiety. What you failed to mention is that I'm well aware that it's a problem and have not only taken steps to get help, but also have an appointment coming up. I took initiative to get the help that I need so that I can handle the germs and the playground and the ride to the mall (seriously, if you only knew how difficult a car ride to the mall was, you wouldn't be saying it's easy for me to shop vs taking my daughter to the park)
Contrary to what you believe, I didn't message your ex just to mock and bash you. I messaged him because I wanted to know if this is who YOU really are and if that's why he couldn't be with you. I let out some anger and frustration because I knew he'd understand, but I also apologized to him for being harsh on him after seeing the way you could care less about our friendship.
I sent you a message explaining why I unfriended you. If you had preferred I didn't, then I wish I hadn't. But at least I gave you the explanation you said you wished you would get when someone unfriends you. When I gave you the truth, you didn't like it. You also said at the end that we were basically just Facebook friends anyways so "it's all good"...
Something else I wanted to address about my daughter's birthday party. You mentioned I was rude and snobby because I didn't greet you at the door. I had people there... I actually did say hi to you. I might not have jumped up the second you walked in the door, but I did come and welcome you as you were taking your shoes and coat off, however, I had a room full of guests. And the other thing you said about me being more concerned about your son putting my daughter's toys, which are choking hazards, in his mouth hence why they're meant for her age of 3 and not 1 (the age of your son) was actually because I didn't want your son to choke on her toys. And since you weren't actually trying to stop it, I had to. They're easy to wash, so I don't care if he slobbered all over them, but sue me if I actually tried to prevent your child from choking on a toy. We didn't leave toys out because we needed all the room and space we could get. Aurora doesn't actually have toys for your son's age group because she's not of his age group... I gave you all the ones she did have! The only ones we still had were stored and we even took something out for him to play with. Yes, he's only one, but at what point do you start telling your child "no" when they are banging things on walls and pulling on blinds in a house that doesn't belong to you? Even our own child isn't allowed to do that, and we make sure if she does, she hears that it's not okay.... So why would we suddenly let someone else's child do that? Did you have some money burning a hole in your pocket and feel like spending it on fixing any damages he might have made to our NEW and RENTED home?
You said you "could" dish out the dirt on me but that you're not like that... But then you did within that very same paragraph...All along stating that you're better than that which makes no sense at all if you're still gonna "dish the dirt" anyways. You also said I'm not a very nice person at all and that I'm manipulative.. First of all, I'm not too sure how I'm manipulative, secondly, you were correct the first time around when you said you thought I was a nice person... I actually AM a nice person. What happened was that I had kept quiet for too long, and I just wasn't okay with that anymore. The people who know me know what kind of person I am. They know I'd give the shirt off my back if I wouldn't get arrested for indecent exposure out in public. They know my character. They understand my anxiety and don't judge me or blame me for not being able to take my daughter to the park. We can also have a debate without someone making it personal which is what happened in our situation. I'm 30 years old, yes. But your friend is much older than me and talks to people who she barely knows in a disrespectful manner and then makes FUN of my mental disability. Did you forget the time you mocked a good friend of mine right along with your friend? Or the time she went off on another good friend of mine which was what led me to delete her? I didn't even block her, she blocked me and then questioned why I blocked her second account after she trash talked me believing she had just said something that I had no answer to when in fact, I just wasn't going to take that kind of verbal abuse from anyone. She blocked me likely so she could trash talk me... How is that your idea of maturity, and why are you telling me I'm the one who is immature??
As far as me sharing the piece of message you sent, it was the part of the message that made the least amount of sense. Why? Because it's the portion of the message where you said "it's no wonder you don't have many friends"... I have had some pretty good friends and I've had some pretty horrible friends. I prefer quality over quantity. The friends that have had my back and stood up for me are amazing, and I'd much rather have only a few great and loyal friends than have a bunch of crappy friends who can't even take a simple debate. You know it's okay for friends to have opposing views and that it's okay for someone to challenge your views, right? It's just not acceptable once it becomes personal. It was also the part of the message where you said it was no big deal that we weren't friends anymore which was a huge slap in the face considering everything I wrote at the beginning of this blog. Yes, it's an "essay" but you didn't exactly leave me with much of a choice. And calling me touchy? Come on... You know you're extremely touchy. I don't freak out and assume the worst if someone doesn't message or text me right away, but you know who does? You do. And you know who never judged you for it? Me.
And finally, you wonder if I talk about my other friends behind their backs. The answer to that is yes. I compliment them. I express how proud I am of them when they accomplish something in life. I also say it to them directly as well. I've had some issues with other friends and when I brought them up, we talked about it to make things clear again, and then we go back to our friendship! I even said some things behind your back as well. Like that you were one of my favourite people on the planet and that you were so deserving of a photo session with the very same man you and your friend mocked later on. I even said that I was willing to pay for it with my own money. I said you were a great friend and that you could really used something like this. So you're absolutely right. I do talk about my friends behind their backs. I'm guilty of that. And that... Well, all of this makes me a not very good person? I'm not seeing the logic in this.
I shouldn't have written any responses at all for anyone to see, and I'll admit it was wrong to in a sense, publicly shame you, but at the same time, you shouldn't have given me any reason to need to defend myself and call you out on the things you said because it was all so hypocritical and also very one sided not to mention taken out of context.
Here's why I'm writing this: I want this to end. Nobody is going to win, and I'd like to move on. I'd like to not be made aware of any talk behind my back, I'd like to not find out only half truths are being written about me and things I've said or done.... I just wanna stop. This wasn't to keep the high school drama going. This was to end it and to clear things up that I couldn't before because you didn't leave me with an option to defend myself. If there was a way to make this private for just you, I'd do it... But as far as I know, there isn't. I'm done with it. The ball is in your court. You can either throw it back at me and I'll refuse to catch, or you can leave it where it is and walk away. It's up to you. This wasn't a game to me. I actually thought you were my friend... Actually, one of my best friends. But you saying we were barely friends made me realize I was foolish to ever care as much as I did. Please choose to walk away. If you don't, then it's no longer my problem. So please... Just walk away so we can both go back to living our lives in peace.
That is all.
Melody V.
There is so much I would like to say, but considering it's 5am and it appears I'm catching a cold or something, I'll just try to get to the point. This is an open letter to the girl who has a lot to say ABOUT me, but gives me no way to defend myself.
Every story between two people has 3 sides. There's the story they tell, the story you tell, and then there's the truth. In this case, I've been pretty straight forward. You see, the disagreement I had that turned sour with a friend has escalated to an unnecessary point, and it's time that it came to an end. But first, there are some things that need to be cleared up, and they will all be directed at the person this letter is to, but there will be no name:
I am a good person. So much so that I actually put other people first. So much so that even though I was going through my own troubles, I would hear yours before considering my own. So much so that I had invited you and your son into my home only 2 nights before a surgery even though I had never met you in person and only knew you through Facebook. So much so that I encouraged you to stay so that you could provide a better life for you and your son when you felt like giving up. So much so that while I was recovering from my surgery, I had my fiancé take you to whatever appointments you needed to get to, even though he was needed at home to take care of me. So much so that I gave you a shoulder to cry on. So much so that I reminded you to eat and take care of yourself while you stayed with me and to try and rest. So much so that I made you food when you were too stressed to remember to eat. I made phone calls for you and looked into things for you so you could find a home here in the city. When you were conflicted about your ex, I supported you. I didn't judge you or think you were being silly or naive. I just wanted you to be happy! That's just some of the things. Let's not forget the time I asked my fiancé to, with my money (not his), drive to the store to grab a thermometer for your son who was sick, plus some snacks for the both of you. I also gave him gas money so he could drive it to your place on the other side of the city which he didn't want to do, but he did it because I begged him to in order to provide you with peace of mind while your son was sick, and I asked for NOTHING in return because I was more concerned about him and also concerned about you than I was about money. You didn't have to tell me you had no way to pay me back... I did it because you were stressed and I couldn't stand to see you like that. I also had him bring your son many of our daughter's toys that were no longer age appropriate for her, most of which weren't cheap toys. At Christmas, I'm just gonna tell you what I spent because why the heck not, I'm making a point here... and again, this was with MY money.. I spent 75 bucks on you alone, and probably about 40 on your son. That's a lot of money considering one of the last things you said to me.
I'll address some things that are out of context from what you wrote in your blog:
That I say my daughter is prettier than my friends' kids. You may have forgotten where that conversation came from. It came from you sending me a picture of a baby you thought was funny looking and me trying to make you feel better by telling you it's okay and normal, especially when you're a parent. In my opinion, my daughter is the most beautiful little girl in the world. In your opinion, I'm sure you think your son is the most handsome and adorable little boy in the world. It happens. We're human.
That I don't make friends with ugly people because it's embarrassing: you know what? I said that! I sure did! I also admit that it's horrible and snobbish of me, and I happen to know there are a LOT of people like that in the world. Does it make it right? No... Did you turn down a guy because he was too short? You sure did. Did you turn down a guy for being of a certain ethnicity? Yep. Did I judge you at the time? I didn't. Know why? We're only human!
-The one that confused me the most was this one -
That I use my boyfriend's (aka the father of my child) income to go shopping: That's something most stay at home moms/housewives do.... I'm not too sure I know a single woman who doesn't ask for money from their partners/spouses. He's even stated that he has no issues with it and that his money is my money. What I don't understand is why you would consider that dirt when you're on social assistance and getting your hair done and your nose pierced and and going shopping and getting cable with the money that was given to you for necessities. And let's just say for the sake of argument somebody gave you that money... Are you not reaping the benefits of someone else's money? Didn't somebody say.... Take you shopping for home decor when you first moved into your new place? How would that be any different?
-And then there was this one-
I can go shopping, but I can't take my daughter to the park: actually, you wanna know a secret? It's actually extremely difficult to go shopping. Even when I'm going because I actually need something, it's difficult. What makes it easier is knowing where the washrooms are so that when my anxiety gets to me, I can quickly escape to regroup. At the park, there are a lot of germs which isn't ideal for someone with anxiety. What you failed to mention is that I'm well aware that it's a problem and have not only taken steps to get help, but also have an appointment coming up. I took initiative to get the help that I need so that I can handle the germs and the playground and the ride to the mall (seriously, if you only knew how difficult a car ride to the mall was, you wouldn't be saying it's easy for me to shop vs taking my daughter to the park)
Contrary to what you believe, I didn't message your ex just to mock and bash you. I messaged him because I wanted to know if this is who YOU really are and if that's why he couldn't be with you. I let out some anger and frustration because I knew he'd understand, but I also apologized to him for being harsh on him after seeing the way you could care less about our friendship.
I sent you a message explaining why I unfriended you. If you had preferred I didn't, then I wish I hadn't. But at least I gave you the explanation you said you wished you would get when someone unfriends you. When I gave you the truth, you didn't like it. You also said at the end that we were basically just Facebook friends anyways so "it's all good"...
Something else I wanted to address about my daughter's birthday party. You mentioned I was rude and snobby because I didn't greet you at the door. I had people there... I actually did say hi to you. I might not have jumped up the second you walked in the door, but I did come and welcome you as you were taking your shoes and coat off, however, I had a room full of guests. And the other thing you said about me being more concerned about your son putting my daughter's toys, which are choking hazards, in his mouth hence why they're meant for her age of 3 and not 1 (the age of your son) was actually because I didn't want your son to choke on her toys. And since you weren't actually trying to stop it, I had to. They're easy to wash, so I don't care if he slobbered all over them, but sue me if I actually tried to prevent your child from choking on a toy. We didn't leave toys out because we needed all the room and space we could get. Aurora doesn't actually have toys for your son's age group because she's not of his age group... I gave you all the ones she did have! The only ones we still had were stored and we even took something out for him to play with. Yes, he's only one, but at what point do you start telling your child "no" when they are banging things on walls and pulling on blinds in a house that doesn't belong to you? Even our own child isn't allowed to do that, and we make sure if she does, she hears that it's not okay.... So why would we suddenly let someone else's child do that? Did you have some money burning a hole in your pocket and feel like spending it on fixing any damages he might have made to our NEW and RENTED home?
You said you "could" dish out the dirt on me but that you're not like that... But then you did within that very same paragraph...All along stating that you're better than that which makes no sense at all if you're still gonna "dish the dirt" anyways. You also said I'm not a very nice person at all and that I'm manipulative.. First of all, I'm not too sure how I'm manipulative, secondly, you were correct the first time around when you said you thought I was a nice person... I actually AM a nice person. What happened was that I had kept quiet for too long, and I just wasn't okay with that anymore. The people who know me know what kind of person I am. They know I'd give the shirt off my back if I wouldn't get arrested for indecent exposure out in public. They know my character. They understand my anxiety and don't judge me or blame me for not being able to take my daughter to the park. We can also have a debate without someone making it personal which is what happened in our situation. I'm 30 years old, yes. But your friend is much older than me and talks to people who she barely knows in a disrespectful manner and then makes FUN of my mental disability. Did you forget the time you mocked a good friend of mine right along with your friend? Or the time she went off on another good friend of mine which was what led me to delete her? I didn't even block her, she blocked me and then questioned why I blocked her second account after she trash talked me believing she had just said something that I had no answer to when in fact, I just wasn't going to take that kind of verbal abuse from anyone. She blocked me likely so she could trash talk me... How is that your idea of maturity, and why are you telling me I'm the one who is immature??
As far as me sharing the piece of message you sent, it was the part of the message that made the least amount of sense. Why? Because it's the portion of the message where you said "it's no wonder you don't have many friends"... I have had some pretty good friends and I've had some pretty horrible friends. I prefer quality over quantity. The friends that have had my back and stood up for me are amazing, and I'd much rather have only a few great and loyal friends than have a bunch of crappy friends who can't even take a simple debate. You know it's okay for friends to have opposing views and that it's okay for someone to challenge your views, right? It's just not acceptable once it becomes personal. It was also the part of the message where you said it was no big deal that we weren't friends anymore which was a huge slap in the face considering everything I wrote at the beginning of this blog. Yes, it's an "essay" but you didn't exactly leave me with much of a choice. And calling me touchy? Come on... You know you're extremely touchy. I don't freak out and assume the worst if someone doesn't message or text me right away, but you know who does? You do. And you know who never judged you for it? Me.
And finally, you wonder if I talk about my other friends behind their backs. The answer to that is yes. I compliment them. I express how proud I am of them when they accomplish something in life. I also say it to them directly as well. I've had some issues with other friends and when I brought them up, we talked about it to make things clear again, and then we go back to our friendship! I even said some things behind your back as well. Like that you were one of my favourite people on the planet and that you were so deserving of a photo session with the very same man you and your friend mocked later on. I even said that I was willing to pay for it with my own money. I said you were a great friend and that you could really used something like this. So you're absolutely right. I do talk about my friends behind their backs. I'm guilty of that. And that... Well, all of this makes me a not very good person? I'm not seeing the logic in this.
I shouldn't have written any responses at all for anyone to see, and I'll admit it was wrong to in a sense, publicly shame you, but at the same time, you shouldn't have given me any reason to need to defend myself and call you out on the things you said because it was all so hypocritical and also very one sided not to mention taken out of context.
Here's why I'm writing this: I want this to end. Nobody is going to win, and I'd like to move on. I'd like to not be made aware of any talk behind my back, I'd like to not find out only half truths are being written about me and things I've said or done.... I just wanna stop. This wasn't to keep the high school drama going. This was to end it and to clear things up that I couldn't before because you didn't leave me with an option to defend myself. If there was a way to make this private for just you, I'd do it... But as far as I know, there isn't. I'm done with it. The ball is in your court. You can either throw it back at me and I'll refuse to catch, or you can leave it where it is and walk away. It's up to you. This wasn't a game to me. I actually thought you were my friend... Actually, one of my best friends. But you saying we were barely friends made me realize I was foolish to ever care as much as I did. Please choose to walk away. If you don't, then it's no longer my problem. So please... Just walk away so we can both go back to living our lives in peace.
That is all.
Melody V.
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